I'm learning an important lesson today - don't go off your anxiety meds.  I renewed my Rx by phone a couple days ago, but I haven't had a chance to pick up the meds.  More like, I didn't make it a priority to do so.  I've been two days without the meds and it isn't pretty.  I have been feeling so great lately.  I think I convinced myself I didn't really need to medicate my anxiety.  Turns out, not so.

Apparently without Zoloft I turn into an angry rage machine who is unable to cope with the world.  I can't breathe, my heart is racing, I can't concentrate, think, or see straight.  I want to cry and scream at the same time.  The physiological effects are no fun either: electrical pulse sensations through my face and limbs, headaches and dizziness.

I was totally caught off guard by the level of anxiety I'm experiencing.  Am I really THIS anxious?  Is this who I really am?  An angry, grumpy, downer?  How in the world did I get through my day with this kind of anxiety pre-medication?  No wonder depression and anxiety often come together...when it is impossible to cope with the smallest of issues, you start to feel hopeless.

I realize some of these feelings may be due to withdrawal.  I just cannot believe this is "me" at my stripped down state.  I had hoped to come off the medication sometime soon, but all those hopes just went out the window today.  I'm okay with that, anything to avoid this state of being.  Sheesh.

Hubby just arrived with the meds...excuse me while I go gulp 'em down.