Hola fellow anxious peeps!
I'm feeling better these days and I think it's due to some very small and simple things I've changed about my day to day life. Thank you to everyone for your advice on things I can do to quell my anxiety. I've taken your advice and have a bit of my own to share. :)
1. Sleep routine
I've been reading a sleep training book with my son (age 9 mos) in mind. Turns out, it has helped me too! Our bodies have a clock and we need to listen to it. Everyone knows you should go to bed around the same time, but one thing I took for granted was the time you got up. I've got myself on a steady schedule and although it's not ideal, it's a start. I am a notorious night owl - have been that way since I was a kid. So, bedtime for me is midnight. I know, wtf?! But, it's better than 1 or 2am. I'll start gradually pushing it back in time. And I wake up at 7am. No matter how long the kids may sleep in - I get up at 7am. And oh my god do I feel good.
2. No caffeine
After the urging of many of you, I've given up caffeine. Not completely, but caffeine on a schedule at least. I used to wake up and run directly for the coffee maker. My routine was that I had to have my coffee before I did anything else. What a bunch of bs. I would have my coffee, check my facebook and before I knew what happened, it was an hour later and I'd accomplished nothing. Not to mention I was becoming addicted. Coffee at wake up, another by mid morning and by afternoon I was jonesing for a diet coke. Plus, the jitters and mind racing - ugh! My head feels so much clearer now. If I feel like having a tea or coffee, I will. But not because I "need" to or because it's my routine. It will be because I enjoy the comfort, the warmth and the taste.
3. Just do it
As mentioned above - I had worked myself into a bad morning routine. The sleep training book also taught me something else: the dramatic wake up. Your body needs to know the difference between day and night in order to feel awake. So, as soon as I wake up, I open the blinds and get to business. Shoot yourself out of bed like a cannon. Literally - run as far away from that cozy bed as possible. The bed is evil. Whatever I dread most about my day - I do first. Get it out of the way and move on. For me, it's the chores. So, I start the dishwasher, put a load of laundry in, sweep the floors and tidy. By 9am I feel like I've already accomplished something and can pat myself on the back. If nothing else comes of today - the house started tidy (and then in 10 minutes the kids will come out and tear it apart again). Whatever you're dreading the most - that phone call you have to make, bathing the dog, figuring out what to do for dinner - whatever it is, big or small - just do it.
4. Pump up the sound
Silence makes me sleepy. Sleepy = wanting to lay in bed. Laying in bed = depressed. So, as soon as I get up I turn on a high energy radio station or play my energy playlist from itunes. Music just gives you that little extra hop in your step you need to keep going sometimes.
5. Manage expectations
I love making lists. It gives me peace of mind so the thoughts aren't swirling in my head: "I must remember to...". The downside of lists is at the end of the day, if you haven't scratched out most/all of them, you feel like a failure. So, I've started to manage my expectations. I used to try to do a billion errands with the kids in tow. Exhausting and frustrating. Now I limit myself to one a day. One activity, one trip into a store, one visit with family or friends. I also make a "today" to do list and a general to do list. The "today" list is no more than 5 items (big or small) with the intention of the list being completely achievable. If I think I "might" have time to do one thing or another - it doesn't go on the list.
6. Lighten up
Stop beating yourself up! Man, I treat myself like crap. It's horrible! Comparing myself to other Moms constantly... "I bet so so and so made their kids a hot breakfast from scratch, you just gave the kids yogurt". Seriously Lindsay? Seriously? Way to go for "so and so", that's awesome, but it ain't me and it ain't gonna happen unless it's Xmas Day. It's amazing the stuff we kick ourselves for without intentionally meaning to. Also, if the day doesn't go as planned - so what?! If you don't get everything on the list done today - so what?! Life goes on. You're still a good person, the kids love you, the world isn't going to end.
7. Take the good with the bad
Stuff happens. That unexpected phone call from a family member saying they're on their way to hospital via ambulance. Yup, I get that call every couple months and it throws my whole day out the window. Hell, my whole week. From that instant I know I've got an exhausting few days ahead of me - accept it and get on with it.
8. Get help
Alright, alright...you all pleaded with me to go back to the therapist. So I am. Once a month. Sheesh, you guys sure love me. xoxo
9. Step away from the idiot box
Both the tv and the computer are a complete time suck. Spend more time rolling around on the floor playing with the kids and less time on your butt. Or, crazy idea - read a book. I had forgotten how relaxing it is to turn on some classical music, sip warm tea (decaf) and lose yourself in a book. If you feel like watching tv, watch a movie. Take time to "lose yourself" in a movie instead of watching a 30 minute show, then choosing another 30 minute show, then another. Turn down the lights, make some popcorn and snuggle in with a pillow and blanket. That way, at least if you're in front of the idiot box, at least you are turning your brain off for a full 2 hours.
10. Positive reinforcement
Be kind to yourself. Whatever you catch yourself beating yourself up about, turn it around. For instance, I often catch myself saying I could be a better mom, wife, friend. So, several times a day I make a point of telling myself "I'm a good Mom" etc. It reminds me of that Saturday Night Live skit where the guy looks in the mirror and says "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and gosh darn it I can..." I don't remember the rest. :) You feel stupid doing it sometimes, but it makes a big difference in how you feel about yourself.
So there you have it. I hope the list can help you in some way or another. If nothing else, the list will be a reminder to myself to keep on track with good healthy habits. I'm far from healed, but on the road to recovery at least.
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